“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami
It’s been about 18 months since my life ground to a halt and I became a single mom. The truth is it’s not something I ever anticipated or aspired to. But it is where I am.
I’m no Pollyanna, and won’t say being a single mom is all sunshine. That would be untrue. But I do believe in staying positive and making the best of where we find ourselves, whether it’s an easy road or not. A thriving single mom is someone I aspire to be.
My boys are all teenagers, which means they’re a ton of fun to be around a lot of the time. But it’s still not easy to have to go it alone. In these past 18 months, I’m discovering 3 things are essential to me as a single mom…
3 Essentials for Thriving as a Single Mom
Keep a sense of humor
- dust gathers, dishes pile up, and the grass gets a little long — and it’s okay
- it’s more than okay to say no to things — it’s essential
- foibles happen: multi-tasking does this. It’s good for my single mom soul to chuckle when it happens, and slow down. Life will be okay, whether we get everything done or not.
Lean on good friends you trust
- if there is one thing that is most essential to me, it is friendship. We need others, whether it’s for support or to pass on what we have learned from others. When things fall apart — and they do — the best of friends are there to help us pick the pieces up and reassemble our lives
Live intentionally, be intentional about what matters most
- catching moments of quality time to be with each child each day
- refreshing the soul with quiet time to regain balance
- continuing to work toward life goals
- exercising, sleeping well, and eating healthy to keep energy up
Finding Our Way Through the Storms
I found a journal at the beginning of this journey that says the following:
I think that says it all. And so we learn to live better, and to find our wings to fly.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
There are many other necessities and wishes we have as single moms. Can you think of any I missed?